


Cockles Block

by BeccastielDW, Tennyo



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Awkward Dates, Cock Block, Double Entendre, Humor, M/M, Minion Missions, Minions, Panty Kink, Pranks and Practical Jokes, The Author Regrets Nothing, clueless!Jensen, double meanings, fan attack, jealous!Misha, single Misha, single jensen, that's what I call a sticky situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1229200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccastielDW/pseuds/BeccastielDW, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tennyo/pseuds/Tennyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen agrees to meet a co-worker for drinks later. Misha gets jealous, calling in his minions for assistance with a prank.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cockles Block

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when two girls end up giggling over scenarios. It all started while discussing Yaoi manga. We accidentally prompted ourselves into a story!
> 
> Set in kind of an alternate universe where neither Jensen nor Misha are married, since my co-writer wasn't particularly fond of poly.
> 
> Game: How many times do we use the word "straight" for a Cockles fanfic?  
> This work is full of references, double meanings and puns. Good luck!
> 
> Picture by BeccastielDW

 

 

 

  


Jensen is having a conversation with Misha’s new stunt-double, Colin. He’s a pretty cool guy. They’ve been discussing football for the past 10 minutes and Colin asks if he knows any good places in town to catch a game and have a beer. Jensen thinks for a moment, before replying. “Yeah, I know a couple of places. One has really good food, too.”

Colin looks down, then to the side, before looking back up into Jensen’s eyes, hands in his pockets. “Do you think that maybe… we could go there some time?”

Jensen shrugs, looking up in thought. “Well, I’ve got some free time tonight, since I’m finished with my scenes, and I don’t have to be here early tomorrow. So… how about tonight? If you’re free, that is.”

Colin stares at him, mouth slightly open. “Uh, no, my shots are finished, too. And unless they need to re-shoot one of Misha’s stunts, I’m finished with this episode.”

Jensen purses his lips, looking at his watch. “I’m gonna need about… two hours? To get out of makeup, deal with some last minute stuff here. That good for you?” He looks up as he says the last bit, through his lashes.

Colin blushes, turns to the side and coughs. “Uh, sure. So… should I meet you there?”

Misha is finishing his break and returning to the set to continue filming when he sees Jensen talking with his stunt-double. Instead of simply walking past them, or even coming up and saying “hi”, he irrationally hides behind a scenery wall. He strains to catch their conversation, and is slightly stunned to hear them planning on going out later that night. Normally, this wouldn’t bother him, but he learned when Colin joined the crew that he’s gay. So if Jensen is agreeing to go out with him, is it a date? Like a DATE date?

He listens to the rest of their conversation, watching Colin’s expressions since Jensen is turned away from him. After Jensen gives the address to the bar and some basic directions, Colin says, “It’s a date!” Jensen pats Colin’s shoulder and walks away casually. But Misha doesn’t miss the look on Colin’s face as he watches him leave, the way he stares at Jensen’s ass, the slow smile that spreads across his face. Yes, Misha thinks to himself, this is in fact a date.

He’s thoroughly confused though, because Jensen has never showed any interest in dating men. Not since Misha started working on the show anyway.  He always seemed so straight-laced and… well… _straight_. Sure, they goofed around on set and at Cons, but that was just a bunch of overgrown children playing around. Jared is married and completely smitten with his wife. Jensen, well, he’s always been the Ladies' Man, cursed with good looks that has women practically throwing themselves at him. He always has a companion of sorts. That’s the only reason he has held back around Jensen. Sure, he’s flirted and suggested things, but all under the guise of “having fun” or “playing around”.

If he actually thought he had a chance with the man, would he take it? Misha isn’t so sure. It might hurt too much if it was just a one-time thing. Not to mention how awkward being on-set would be if Jensen ever shot him down or decided that once was enough. It’s bad enough that the fans mostly consider them a couple already. So he just keeps it light, never letting how he really feels show through, in spite of everything that translates into the Destiel fandom. Of course, he enjoys encouraging that as much as possible. Not to mention he’s masturbated more than once to some of the steamier fanfictions. Fans put way much more thought into their stories that Supernatural’s writers ever have.

Misha realizes Colin has wandered off and he’s now late for his scene. On his way, he begins to devise a plan to see just how far this “date” might go, and maybe discourage the pairing. In between takes, he shoots a few discreet emails to some of his more loyal, local and trusted minions. By the time his scenes are finished, (luckily on-time because Jared has left as well) he not only has a plan, but it even has a name: Operation Alpaca de Troie*. It doesn’t take long for him to get changed and on the way to the place they are to meet and finalize their plans. Luckily for him, Misha’s normally such a troll, his minions will only think of this as an elaborate prank.

Later, Jensen and Colin meet outside Back Forty, a sports bar right next to BC Place. Colin arrives early and is wearing a chambray shirt with dark jeans. Jensen arrives and Colin can’t help but stare at how good he looks in his striped light gray button-up and charcoal slacks. They exchange some pleasantries before heading inside, and Colin places his hand on Jensen’s shoulder, ushering him in first.

Misha is stationed just inside of the hotel across the street and is scowling at the familiar gesture of the hand on Jensen’s shoulder. He waits impatiently to receive the text from one of his minions inside to let him know they’re seated.

Luckily, it’s a weeknight, and late enough so there isn’t much of a crowd. They are seated in a back corner, where they’re not visible to the street. It’s one of the reasons Jensen likes the place, he can come for relaxation or to watch a game without many fans bothering him. What he doesn’t realize is that Misha has two minions sitting at the bar and another at a table almost close enough to hear conversation over the music.

When Misha gets a text from a minion saying they’re in place, he notifies everyone that the operation is live, and he informs them to begin Mission Dive Bomb. Strategically placed minions move into position to carry out their individual orders.

Back inside the pub, Jensen has ordered Labatts in the bottle and Colin has opted for a dark craft beer from tap. Before they manage to actually order any food, a waiter brings them a plate of hot wings. When they try to explain they haven’t ordered, the waiter says he just delivers the order to the table he’s supposed to. What they don’t realize is that one of the minions tipped him well for the service and what to say.

Jensen eyes the dish of chicken wings until Colin tries one and deems them safe. They start to relax, telling stories about the various shows and movies they’ve been on, and Colin is visibly impressed by Jensen’s own stunt work. Jensen has relaxed to watch the game, taking long pulls from his beer and leaning back in his seat. Colin also relaxes, stretching his legs under the table and brushes one against the other man’s. Jensen merely glances at him, then looks back to the TV. Their conversation switches to sports as they get into the game, sharing the plate of wings.

Misha is getting anxious across the street and fingers a coffee stain on the cuff of his pink shirt. He really should have brought a change of clothes today, but he didn’t expect to run into Jared carrying a full cup of joe, either. He fiddles with the buttons on his blue waistcoat next, receiving texts as his minions either monitor the situation inside or move into place for the next phase of the mission. If only he could see what was actually happening… He texts one of the minions at the bar with a change in plans.

They’ve just finished the wings and are thinking of ordering sandwiches when a petite blonde squeals next to them. “Oh, My, GOD, it’s Jensen Ackles!”

Her high pitched squee pierces Jensen’s ears, and he’s afraid his favorite bar is now ruined. He gives the other man an apologetic look, then turns to the bouncing girl fervently asking for an autograph. After he signs a napkin, the girl asks for a picture with him as well. Never one to be rude to a fan, he acquiesces, but he tries to back away after the flash on her phone nearly blinds him.

She looks like she’s about to hyperventilate as she wails, “Ohmygod,  ohmygod, _ohmygod_ , THANK YOU!”

As she traipses away, he settles back into his seat with a huff, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. “Sorry about that, man, I’m usually not recognized here, and this isn’t a normal hangout for the squealing type.”

Colin simply nods, understanding the stresses of a popular, handsome actor. “No worries, let’s just actually order some food.”

While their waiter takes their orders, Misha secretly settles in at one of the patio tables, where he can see the two around a potted plant, giving himself some camouflage. A minion by the name of Jessie is seated across from him, having requested the table so Misha could sneak across the street. Misha peeks around the leaves of the plant just in time to see Jensen give one of his laughs that makes his eyes crinkle and shows his white teeth. Colin is smiling, apparently pleased that he could make Jensen laugh that way. Misha feels a twist in his gut, pure jealousy, and wishes it was him sitting there, making him laugh that way. He asks Jessie to get him a bourbon and tries to not let his feelings show.

The next phase of the plan kicks in soon after their food arrives. Various mixed drinks start getting delivered to their table, first a Tom Collins, then a White Russian, later a Bloody Mary and something called an Angel Tear, made with Sambuca and apple juice. Colin is starting to get the themed message, but Jensen’s oblivious, and simply pushes the drinks aside while he eats his pulled pork sandwich. Halfway through his sandwich, however, he gets the hint in a big way when a courier delivers a package straight to his table. What’s inside makes him flush bright red, as he sees multiple pairs of pink satiny panties, wrapped in the telltale striped tissue from Victoria’s Secret.

Misha is thoroughly pleased by the results of Mission Satin Distraction, watching Jensen react to the result of a throwaway line from season five. But fans never forget, and the request for women’s underwear to be delivered got multiple cackles from his minions. He has to hide behind the plant and duck down a bit, because now Jensen is actively looking around for the one playing the pranks.

A series of texts causes Misha’s phone to vibrate almost incessantly, and Misha looks to see what’s up. The minion seated next to the couple has overheard Jensen cussing about stupid practical jokes and Colin has suggested they go somewhere more private. Or at least, that’s what Misha thinks is going on, as the texts are sloppy, and full of rushed, misspelled text speak. Alarmed, he looks up to see another drink being delivered to the table, a huge strawberry margarita. Slightly annoyed that the drink isn’t punny, Misha pushes to his feet and grabs his own relatively fresh drink.

Swaying slightly, he looks down to notice he’s made his way through about three drinks himself, and on an empty stomach is a bit sloshed. Maybe he should have ordered something to eat. Oh well, it’s time to put the finishing touch on this little game, he thinks, swaggering towards Jensen’s table. When he stands flush to the edge, he sees Colin’s hand on Jensen’s forearm and his vision goes a little red at the sight. Struggling to retain a cool exterior, he leans a hip on the table and turns to Jensen.

“Fancy meeting you here tonight, Ackles. You enjoying your date?”

Jensen’s jaw is clenched, jaw working, as he glares up at Misha through slitted eyes. “You think you’re so funny, don’t you, Collins?” he growls out through clenched teeth.

Misha gives a sloppy grin, head tilted to the side. “I happen to know I’m freaking hilarious, Jen.”

He takes a swig from his glass, looks at it and pushes it at Jensen. “Hey, try this, it’s pretty good. One of my minions ordered it, s’called…” he purses his lips, “Bee-stung Lips. Pretty tasty.”

Jensen’s eyes widen, finally noticing Misha’s state. “Misha, you’re getting drunk with your _minions_?!? You have to know how all kinds of bad idea that is!”

Misha puts on his best Castiel Smiting Face™, staring stonily down down his nose at Jensen. “You’re not the boss of me.”

He weaves slightly, bumping into the table, and his hand slips, spilling his drink all over Colin, who has been trying to quietly disappear into the wallpaper. He yelps, flailing as the drink splashes onto his shirt and pants, and he accidentally bumps the huge, frozen strawberry drink causing it to  tip straight into Jensen’s lap.

Jensen’s face is almost as red at the spilled drink and he apologizes profusely to Colin through his hands that are scrubbing his face, thumbs pressing at his temples. Colin takes the hint when Misha gives him an icy stare, and excuses himself hurriedly, throwing a few bills on the table to help cover his half.

“Just, uhh… I’ll um, talk to you later, um, yeah.”

Misha picks up a couple of napkins and tries to help mop up the dripping, sticky mess in Jensen’s lap. Jensen grabs his arm and pushes it away, then stands up and storms to the bathroom. Misha turns to the minions who are staring wide-eyed at their drunken Overlord, awaiting instructions. He simply shakes his head at them, eyes cast down, and shuffles is feet, following Jensen to the bathroom to try to salvage what he can of their friendship.

When the door swings open, Jensen is angrily swiping wet paper towels at his clothes. He looks up angrily at the man hunched sheepishly by the slowly closing door. Glaring at Misha, he throws away the handful of stained towels and reaches for another handful, dampening them under the tap before resuming damage control.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Misha?!” he yells.

Misha flinches, not knowing what to say anymore. It was just supposed to be a prank meant to embarrass Colin, maybe even mark his territory a little bit, but it wasn’t supposed to backfire like this. He keeps his eyes fixed on the floor, feeling utterly ashamed.

Jensen sighs, figuring his shirt and pants are a lost cause, thoroughly stained by the strawberries. At least he got most of the sticky drink off of his clothes.

“You never know when to stop, do you? You ruined my night out with… uh…” Dammit, what was his name again?

“Colin?” Misha whispers quietly.

“Yeah, Colin…”

“Must not be that important, if you can’t even remember his name,” Misha mutters.

“What was that?” Jensen stalks toward Misha, but all he gets is a head shake, and a small shoulder shrug.

Jensen stares down at the man in front of him who is currently trying to fold in on himself to become as small as possible. “None of this is any of your business.”

This brings Misha’s head up to stare Jensen straight in the eye. “So you just happen to choose my stunt double to go on a date? A guy that just kind of looks like me? And you just wanted to fuck, is that it?”

Jensen takes a step back, stunned as he processes what Misha just said. _Date? Fuck? Huh?_  His mouth drops open as he comes to the realization of what it must have looked like to anyone else. He stumbles back against the sink, grasping the countertop for support. He thinks back to the way Colin said certain things, the touches, looks, the smiles. Holy hell, this _was_ a date, wasn’t it? And Misha thought he wanted to… Wait, was Misha _jealous?_

Misha’s buzz has started to fade in the brightly lit bathroom, watching Jensen process what he just said. Oh my god, he thinks, I can’t believe the words that came out of my mouth. I really did just accuse Jensen of wanting to fuck a very poor facsimile of me, didn’t I? Fuck, fuck fuck _fuck!_ I’ve really screwed up now. He looks up into Jensen’s confused face.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t… It wasn’t supposed to…” He can’t decide where to look, his gaze wavering from Jensen’s confused face, to the stained shirt and pants, to Jensen’s white knuckles clutching the countertop. He did this, it was all his fault. For what? A prank? Out of jealousy?

He’s jolted out of his mental self-flagellation when his phone buzzes in his pocket. Flinching, he pulls it out and looks at the screen. His minions have cleaned up the mess, are currently guarding the bathroom door, and are awaiting his next orders. He sends them a blanket text that the operation is complete, and for them to all have a safe night.

Jensen hears the deep sigh that comes from Misha after sending a text back to… well, probably his followers who helped pull all this off. His emotions flicker between anger and confusion, and he tries to figure out how all this went so wrong. He sees Misha's collapsed body language, so similar to a whipped dog, and feels just a little sorry for him. But then he remembers how it’s all Misha’s fault, first for secretly listening in on his plans, then thoroughly ruining his favorite hangout spot. Misha never takes anything seriously, it’s always games and jokes.

He thinks about the first time he met Misha on set, and his reaction to those too-blue eyes, and the way he played Castiel. And then there were the fan’s reactions, the comments about their too-long stares, and then Destiel. They’d never mutually agreed to play it that way, so it got a little difficult around season six, where they couldn’t keep up the same chemistry. It got a little awkward around that time, and Jensen drank more heavily trying to come to terms with what he thought he felt for Misha. At some point, things became normal again, as Jensen simply accepted whatever he thought Misha felt for him wasn’t serious. And then, after they thought Misha was gone after the beginning of season seven, the bastard came back, as smug as ever.

Misha watches Jensen’s face as he silently gets lost in thought. The play of emotions on his face is interesting, going from furious, to confused, to… sad? and right back to angry. Then there was the strange mix of emotions, the softening of those leaf-green eyes for just a moment, and then maybe frustration. He realizes they’ve been standing there silently staring at each other for a while now. Coughing, he turns his gaze to the floor and opens his mouth to speak.

“Um, Jensen? I... I’m sorry for ruining your… whatever this was tonight. It wasn’t supposed to get out of hand, and yes, maybe drinking wasn’t such a good idea, but I couldn’t help but get jealous when I thought-”

“Wait, wait. What? You were jealous? That wasn’t just me thinking…”

They both looked at each other stunned for a moment, processing the words that came out of each other’s mouths. Jensen gives an unsure twitch of a smile, taking a step closer to Misha, releasing the countertop. He steels himself, takes a deep breath, and dives right in.

“So, let me get this straight. You did all this, because you thought I was on a date?”

Misha nods, and Jensen continues.

“And you were jealous.” Another nod.

“But you were hoping I went on a date with him because he kind of looked like you?”

Jensen’s eyes are wide, his brows raised as high as they can go. Misha swallows and nods, refusing to break eye contact. Jensen barks out a laugh, then starts laughing in earnest, with his whole body, folding at the waist with effort, his hands on his thighs and shaking his head.

“Hell, Misha, why are you doing this to me?” he says though the laughter.

Misha’s head is swirling with confusion, mixed emotions and the lingering effects of the alcohol. Without thinking, he blurts, “Because I’m crazy in love with you, and I don’t think crazy is enough to cover it!”

Jensen’s laughter halts as he freezes, Misha’s words piercing through him. He’s screwing with him again, right? Slowly he looks up to see Misha standing open-faced and stunned, his mouth hanging open with the realization of what he just said. If Misha is screwing with him again, he’s not sure he can handle it, because the words struck a chord in his heart, and he’s unsure he could recover if it’s just another joke. He straightens up, and closes the space between them, placing his palm on Misha’s shoulder.

“Don’t screw with me about this, Collins. Because if you are, I…”

He looks into Misha’s eyes searchingly, brows scrunched together and mouth pursed. Misha releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, as he searches the other man’s face for a clue to his feelings. Well, he’s already blurted out what he has been feeling already, so why not continue with that trend? He shakes his head and speaks softly, keeping eye contact.

“No, Jensen, I’m serious. Probably the most serious I’ve been with you since we met.”

Jensen stares right back, his heart thudding in his chest. He can see the fear in Misha’s eyes, of being rejected. The hand he has on the man’s shoulder pulls him into a hug, his arms wrapping around him tightly. Misha’s body jerks in surprise before relaxing into it, his arms slowly come up to place his hands tentatively on Jensen’s waist. He breathes deep Jensen’s scent, addictive and heady in its warm spiciness. Jensen props his chin on Misha’s shoulder, speaking softly.

“I wish you would have said something a long time ago, man. This whole time I thought you were just a little shit.”

Jensen’s voice so close to his ear makes Misha shiver, but he manages to pull away to look him in the face. “But Jensen, I always thought you were, you know, straight, and you never responded to my flirting… so…”

Jensen huffs softly, cupping Misha’s jaw with one hand. “Dude, you’ve seen how we goof around on set. Hell, Jared’s had various body parts on you in inappropriate ways so many times, how was I supposed to know what flirting looked like?”

Misha gives a wry half smile, watching as Jensen licks his lips. “Yeah, I can see how you might have been a bit confused, especially since we know he only has eyes for Genevieve. But… I’ve only seen you date women.”

Jensen presses their foreheads together, and their mouths are close enough to feel each other’s breath. “Maybe I just haven’t gotten around to telling the guy I find attractive that I’m into him yet.” He pauses a moment, watching Misha's smile widen. “Maybe I did agree to come out with someone who looked a little like you, because I was too afraid you’d turn me down or wouldn’t take me seriously.”

Their noses brush together, and then Misha turns his head just a little bit, and raises his chin to press his lips softly against Jensen’s. The other man makes a small noise of surprise before sighing and relaxing into the chaste kiss. Misha pulls his mouth away to wrap his arms tighter around Jensen. With their cheeks pressed together, he whispers, “Do you still think I’d turn you down?”

Jensen just chuckles and shakes his head, breathing Misha in. They simply stand there for a comfortable moment wrapped around each other. As they start to separate, Misha whispers once more into Jensen’s ear, “Any chance I can get you in those panties someday?”

_**FIN** _

**Author's Note:**

> *Alpaca de Troie: French for Trojan Alpaca.
> 
> Feel free to leave Comments/Kudos!


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